The week post-ordination was a world apart from everything that had come before, and I found myself grappling with a deluge of complex emotions. To articulate those feelings accurately is a challenge, but I hope to encapsulate the essence through two poignant analogies – ‘decompression’ and the ‘adrenaline comedown’.
The surreal experience of the ceremony, its profound impact on my soul, and the following heartwarming celebration will forever be etched in my memory. My journey continues, now enriched with the lessons learned on that momentous day, and I am ready to embrace whatever comes next with faith and gratitude.
The days leading up to my ordination were both challenging and deeply contemplative. I faced physical limitations due to a second operation on my back, which resulted in strict instructions to avoid bending, twisting, or lifting at all costs.
Perhaps what you need to consider is if your calling is to the wider Church of God or if it is specifically to the Anglican corner of the vineyard?
Not long after chatting to my old boss Don Witts, he got back to me about the possibility of pursuing a Bishop’s certificate with Southwark Diocese.
I had a positive conversation on the telephone where he clarified “Let’s be frank, the return trip to Bangkok is impractical, not least because of the increasing COVID restrictions, and I suggest you pursue any options closer to you.”
“Let’s meet at the Hawaiian Bar. It’s nearby where I live, and we can meet without masks because it’s outside-ish. It’s on the ground floor of a defunct car park. Do you know it?” This is Thailand, so it is neither the first nor last time I have met somewhere, which might generally sound weird.
So began a period where I was ricocheting about, getting advice, pursuing leads and slowly, sometimes imperceptively feeling a way forward. It was a difficult time, with lots of dead ends and lots of ideas. It was knowing that the journey had begun but not knowing the shape or length of the journey to come.
Then stronger than ever, my internal dialogue, the conversation I had ignored with God for too long, was louder than ever.
“Do it and do it now”, it said.
So, it begins as so many conversations have. It could be important or not important at all, but for the one explaining the dream, me, it feels important and so it is.