Yesterday my friend and I went to France for the day.

It was a great trip and I met the author of Paris Parfait, Tara Bradford.

Anyway, back to the the point of this post…,

Despite
arriving well before the departure time in Folkestone, we were
customarily informed that we were late and corralled into one of those
service stations filled with shops and consumerist stuff you did not
know you needed.  This technique must have been part of the bargain
between the train company and the private vendor service station i.e
'everyone has to shop’ before they leave.

I am sure you know what these fluorescent-lit sterile places are like,
designed by consumer analysts  and marketers, a host of duty free and
cafe style booths surround a central hall, a coffee bar placed with 60
or so places around it and even though it is not an actual memory, I
would place a bet that musac was playing.

We
walked over to the ‘welcome break’ consession.  I was offered a coffee
and two were ordered.  An apple was handed by my friend to be washed
before purchase, then I saw it.  The leaflet by the checkout made no
sense.

"The leaflet by the checkout made no sense."

I need to repeat that, the words used on the front of a point of sale leaflet made no sense as you can see.

 

This sort of thing drives me mad.  

(I
would not call myself a pedant but the thought of 'customer-facing'
literature written in a way that uses nonsense language gets my goat. 
Its a waste of money and waste of resources all round.)

 
 

A
little vexed, I asked the staff if it made sense to them, they smiled
and nodded, I suppose a little perplexed at the reaction to a leaflet
that has probably been there for months.
Feeling livid, I showed my friend who agreed that the phrase used on the front of the leaflet made no sense.  

We
decided that we should write to the CEO of Welcome Break, Mr Rod McKie,
whose name was prominent on the reverse of the nonsense leaflet,
inviting us to get in touch. 

 
During the trip to France the following email was drafted and I sent it today using the ‘contact us’ page.  As yet I have not heard anything. 

The email we composed reads as follows:

FAO: Rod McKie

CEO

Welcome Break

Hey Rod,

We
haven't met yet, but we were keen to get in touch and thought that a
direct email would be a little less formal than all of this form
filling, only to then be faced with an online form!

We
are regular users of the Euro Tunnel and have visited France almost 3
times now.  On our most recent trip we had the good fortune of missing
our train, thus affording us the opportunity to be customers at your
Coffee Primo coffee bar concession shop and found ourselves standing
very near to the Eatin take-away fried food takeaway counter. It smelt
tasty!

We must say, we were hugely impressed with
what you have achieved so far, and if we're being candid; we think you
are more than aware of your successes re the euro tunnel Welcome Break
food area concession zone, given the strange location – next to a
tunnel!

Having picked up your leaflet "Good enough
to say your comments please" (an odd sentence, yes?), your pride shows
through in your invitation for compliments.  Good work. We are sure you
have given yourself and your staff a good many firm pats on the back!
Have a pat from us please! Seriously, have a pat.

As
we're certain you are aware, the staff you had on yesterday morning are
a great bunch. Their utter enthusiasm and good looks was more than
enough to compensate for the bitter taste resulting from the low-grade
beans you use! Joking aside, the apple we bought was just brilliant
(however, it was a little over-ripe, and had to be given a good rinse
by one of your team, as it was quite sticky).

You
will have heard by now of the egg incident yesterday morning (who would
have thought it!), but even this wasn't sufficient to ruffle their
professionalism.

Getting back to your request for
'feedback', regrettably, we are unable to pass on any 'feedback' back
to you about The Burger King franchise consession, as we did not eat or
smell any of the stuff. I'm sure next time we go back, we'll
undoubtably get back to you with some 'feedback' back about The Burger
King. No probs there. On a lighter note, under normal circumstances, we
would have of course have loved to have had had one of your Burgers, as
we are both loyal brand adherents to the Burger King. It's all good
stuff!

If you were wondering, sorry, but we didn't use the toilets.

So,
what days are you usually there, so to speak? In principle, we would be
happy to meet you in the flesh, however we are quite busy people (no
rest for the Wicked!). To be honest, as much notice as possible would
be appreciated.

We look forward to hearing from you soon, Rod, and we can continue to contribute to the future of Welcome Break.

Yours sincerley,

Gullbad and mate

I will keep you informed of any progress made on this front.

Cheers

Gullbad